Games rant thread


#1

For infuriating shit that games do.

MGSV

  • I totally want to stop every 5 minutes of the first hour of the game to watch a completely useless cutscene that tells me nothing about the upcoming gameplay or in any way enhances my experience of the game
  • YES I’M GOING TO FUCKING EXTRACT HIM YOU MASSIVE RADIO NONCE
  • Yes, Snake, I totally wanted to throw my grenade 50m further than where I aimed
  • I find it orgasmic that Snake has the stopping time of an 18 wheeler and will continue to walk well beyond the point I stopped pressing forward
  • Snake can climb a half-collapsed building but can’t walk up a slight incline - this completes my life

Far Cry 4

  • I totally want to watch dozens of 13 minute unskippable cutscenes that tell me literally nothing about the missions following them and are nothing more than a dialogue writers mastebatory fantasy made reality
  • Yes I did aim 4m up and to the right of where I placed the crosshair, totally missing the dude placing 7.62mm rounds in my lower colon with pin-point accuracy from 150m away without any form of sight or aim-enhancing device
  • I adore the fact that every button press action in the game has an animation that lasts several seconds and is repeated dozens and dozens of times in the exact same way with literally no deviation, often fucking with player control
  • I don’t think it’s 2009 at all to still have QTE events
  • 2005 absolutely did not call and ask for it’s “set part of the game in a different, slightly smaller map away from the main map to make you think the world is massive” back
  • Assassins Creed totally didn’t call and ask for its towers back

#2

…but seriously, you’re gonna extract him?


#3

with MGS V the self wankyness that every mission has to have credits as if it’s a movie -_-


#4

Oh god I blanked on that…every single one has Kojima on it as well - we get it, you made this, can I play now please?!


#5

I want to punch him every time. And the times where he says it after you extract a mission target…HE WAS LITERALLY THE TARGET YOU TROLL.


#6

“You troll”??? Is you granny watching over you type? :wink: